Sunday, October 25, 2015

movies and cynicism


I've been extremely anxious lately due to all my school work and college application essays and such. I can hardly wait for this semester to be over. Yesterday I went out with my mom and her friend to the movies. We watched My Old Lady, and I absolutely loved it. Its cynical humor just speaks to me on a personal level. So talking about friendship and cynicism, I wanted to ask you guys if you ever wonder why we have friends? I mean, I do believe that some people you just genuinely enjoy being with, but I also believe this is rare. There are only two people in my life I actually feel like I enjoy and feel completely comfortable being with, and one of them is my boyfriend and the other one doesn't even live in my country. Sometimes I feel like most friendships are based on something you need or want from that other person, you know? Sometimes, when I'm feeling specially cynical, I start thinking friendship is something Hollywood made up tbh. However, this school year, for some unknown reason, I've developed friendships with people I've gone to school with for the last thirteen years and barely even spoke to until now. I'm just confused. Sometimes I feel grateful because I actually have people I can talk to, but sometimes I can't help asking myself: what do they want from me? No, I'm not paranoiac but I just sometimes think people are deliberately plotting things against me, idk. Like, I'm the same person I've always been and you're clearly not romantically interested on me, soooo why do you want to hang out with me now? I believe it's not socially acceptable to ask that question to people so I'll just keep wondering and maybe even tell you guys if I find out. Anyway, comfortable outfits are the best way to deal with anxiety. Like, I don't know about you but I would rather be anxious when wearing a nice flowy skirt than when wearing extremely uncomfortable skinny jeans. I'm not even kidding though! I wore this outfit yesterday and I just love it because dark blue is my favorite color and because it's super comfortable and doesn't make me feel like I'm suffocating. I would love to continue writing but I have to study for a calculus exam! Wish me luck!

Shirt form Brandy Melville
Skirt from i don't really know...
Bag from Kate Spade
Shoes from Urban Outfitters

Thanks for reading!


Monday, October 19, 2015

happy birthday!

So a year, one month and 19 days ago I began posting on this blog. It first started out as a way to create kind of like a portfolio for my short films (that's why my first two posts are my YouTube videos). In November, however, I decided to make this my personal blog and post different things that interest me, such as personal style, food and photography. It's a funny story how I ended up making that decision though. What happened was that I realized I should spend my time doing things I love, not things I'm expected to do because everyone else does them. I was at a Halloween party with my boyfriend last year, and it just made me think about productivity. For some reason, I can't shake off the feeling I'm getting old really fast (I'm only 18 but I just can't believe I'm not a minor anymore) and I just want to take advantage of the time I have left as a teenager doing things that are actually productive. At this party I just kept looking around at everyone there and thinking to myself: this is such an unproductive, pathetic event... why am I here when I could be doing so many things right now that I genuinely enjoy and that are actually meaningful? After a while I told my boyfriend I wanted to leave, so we went over to my place and I talked to him about the way I was feeling. I also told him I wanted to start blogging, and he was supportive with the idea. That's practically it. Thank you all so much for sticking around, reading, commenting, and watching my videos! Again, sorry for neglecting this blog for the past few months. I'm excited about what's to come and I'm just thrilled to continue watching Vanille grow. So, happy birthday!!!!

Here are some of the highlights of my first year of blogging:

Special thanks to my boyfriend for being an amazing photographer and my family for helping me out as well. Also to my three friends that appear in these pictures for their support. Thank you all for following and reading!


Sunday, October 11, 2015

two outfits + one shitty restaurant

I'm finally back. Here are two outfit I've worn recently. 

I think I got this dress from Macy's but I'm not 100% sure...

Dress from Topshop
Shoes from Dr. Martens

So here's the rant:

I'm not a restaurant critic or anything, but I can sure tell when the owners of a restaurant are shitty human beings. So I'm here to share with y'all a fun story about shitty restaurant owners! My mom's cousin (who lives in Miami) came here to Cali last week, and we decided to take her out for coffee/dinner. Although I wanted to go Juan Valdez (a Colombian coffee shop) to get coffee, my mom decided we should go to this place (yes, the one I'll be ranting on) because we were also having dinner, and, of course, a coffee shop is not the most appropriate place for that. So we go there and we order coffee and desserts because we weren't ready for dinner yet. We were there for a while (ordering stuff very frequently, especially considering there were seven of us) and just after we ordered actual dinner, I decided to go to the bathroom. Our table was located on the restaurant's deck sort of thing, so I went inside to use the bathroom. I was waiting for the bathroom when a lady walks up to me (my mom later told me she's like one of the owner's wife, because the place is like co-owned or whatever) and asks me if I'm there to order or use the bathroom. I smiled at her and said I was going to use the bathroom. She then asked me who I was there with and I pointed at my table. The bitch had the nerve to say: "oh yeah, the table that's been here the whole afternoon". AND THE PLACE WAS EMPTY! Like, what the actual fuck. That crazy lady was literally shaming us for buying her shitty food. I didn't even know what to say. I told my mom, but we just continued eating. Then, when we were going to pay for all the food we got, my mom went over to the cashier because she wanted to talk to that bitch who thought it would be really cool to shame me and my family. So when she asked my mom what table we were on, my mom said "the table that's been here the whole afternoon, like you told my daughter". And then, of course, she was like "me? no, no, I never said that". YES, YES YOU DID. This made me really angry because it's not like one particular waiter was mean to us, this was the owner. The assholes we are giving our money to in exchange for their shitty food. The coffee was absolutely terrible (it was literally brown milk, it didn't even taste like coffee) and the food was just as bad. Sorry but, don't be a jerk and expect me not to write about it.

Sorry about that... I cursed too much. Thanks for reading!


Wednesday, October 7, 2015

short film: The Longing

So I know I've been terrible at posting lately but school work and college applications are just too much. Please forgive me anddddd watch my short film I just uploaded to YouTube! It's about a girl who finds inspiration for writing... it's basically a one-sided love story and we've all been there. And if you do decide to watch it feel free to stalk my YouTube channel (maybe watch my "Rape Poem" video and get it to 1000 views?). 

Thanks for reading (and watching)!